winter.wonderland

19Nov09

i wish i was walking in a winte

r wonderland and sometimes i wonder why i ever moved to a city like victoria. When it snows here, there is a different excitement in the air. You hear all the old people complaining down oak bay ave, all the children making their first snowman ever!, and all the many accidents that happen to people who just simple can’t drive in snow. When it snows in my small home town of s

mithers, it is expected but there is still so much excitement about it. Most excited about snowboard season starting, kids again making snowman (this time it is not for the first time), and adults just loving the feeling of bundling up.

My ideal winter wonderland would be option two. I have always been pinned as the city girl. Now that i am here, i feel like it really doesn’t suite me. Don’t get me wrong i love victoria but i think deep down inside of me, all of me wants my small northern town back. Where everyone knows what you did last night, and you can’t walk down main street without walking into at least three people you k

now. I miss it. I also think that there is a time in one’s path where they need to leave this small town to experience life outside of it.

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hello?

11Oct09

i am unsure that there is anyone still out there. i have been mega busy working 3 days a week and going to school 2 + 1 night… but i promise to become more consistent..

UPDATE COMING SOON

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importance.

22Aug09

it has been a long time since i blogged, i think i have forgotten about how much i enjoy writing about some of the things that matter most to me. although this blog post is a little harder for me to write at this very moment, it has been a long time coming.

i, brooke amy, have committed a crime. The crime of forgetting about how much to enjoy everyday and not just live in a constant routine. In the last couple of weeks, I have learned that the things that are important to me have to be apart of my everyday life. I have learned to wake up and not be afraid of being spontaneous. I have learned to start living my life through God, again. As soon as I get “stuck” in that routine, everything that matters most to me goes also. Family, Friends, Jesus, Laughing, Loving and just attempting at deciding to be Happy. My dad constantly reminds me everyday when i am cranky, that that morning I was the one who woke up and decided to be cranky. Thanks dad because you finally got to me. So wake up, be happy. Know that God has a plan for you, know that your family and your friends love you. Remember to show love to the ones around you, remember laughter is sometimes actually the best medicine. and don’t get stuck in a routine and forget about what is important to you.

loves, hugs, misses, and kisses.

b.

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…degrading

08May09

so here’s an update for you.

before you read this, just know that i absolutely love my job…. it’s just difficult sometimes…

i was at work today, and my boss asked me to get him a meeting with someone from the city of Langford just to let them know that we are here and that we exist. Well i went through the process of many calls and many emails but always ended up getting an answering machine or having my call being forwarded to someone else. i went in a million circles. then today the city engineer actually called me back. unfortunately, she didn’t tell me anything i wanted to hear. us, a residental heat pump/hvac systems company compared to her meeting with the people who sell groceries. she just didn’t understand how it would help the city to meet with us. IT’s not all about you…

i didn’t tell her this but now i kind of wish i had, but i am apart of a company and expressing my feelings probably would have given us a bad reputation. i wish i had told her to get her panties out of a knot, stop caring about what is best for you, and how you will get more money and actually care about the small business’ in your community because they are what your community thrives on. That is where your money is coming from, without us there would be no you. We are do not sell milk and eggs, we sell heat pumps, we only wanted the meeting to boost her green image and tell her what we were all about but if you can’t take one moment out of your day to come and meet with us that’s fine, we will probably be better without you…

i felt like curling up in a ball when she just pretty much told me she wasn’t interested …but instead i told her i wasn’t going to give up and that my boss will call her on monday… she just said bye.

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its a love story…

19Feb09

i figured it is time for me to tell you my love story. all of it.

here are some facts to start off:

in all of my “relationships” not once have a been formally asked out on a first date.

at the beginning of each relationship, my parents didn’t know. with dan, brant told them. with leo, i told them. and with nick they found out from mr. steenhof in a parent teacher interview

there wasn’t more that four weeks in between every relationship, that means since i went out with dan i have been single for about seven weeks… sad eh

Love Story:

i think that i thought i was in love in grade three with curtis dekens. i was the girl with the “balled spot” and the side ponies with pretty dresses everyday. and he was the hockey player, and a year older. we played footsie’s under our desks, and he gave brant his old hockey equipment to  score some points with me… and it worked. but then i moved to victoria. and he cried. and i missed him. but that was the end of us.

i had a lot of crushes in between grade three and grade ten but nothing too serious in between. how serious can a grade six relationship actually be… 

In the summer before grade eleven, i had a crush on daniel veenstra. the first time that we went out was a the movies in july sometime. the second time was in august at the bulkley valley fair, how romantic right? . his first move was putting his arm around me on the ferris wheel. thats when it became official and i knew that he liked me. then it was the car derby, and volleyball games, and movies etc. it was a fine relationship. mom and dad didn’t know until october or november. (my rebel move). i think that we were better off friends than being “in a relationship.” the city girl and the farmer weren’t well matched for each other. whatever they tell you, opposites don’t attract. well actually  i shouldn’t say that, they do. it just won’t work out in the end, no matter how much you convince yourself. i broke his heart in march of grade eleven. 

then i went to the other extreme. somewhere in between breaking up with dan, i met leo hoorn. the skateboarder/snowboarder/non-christian. he is an awesome person don’t get me wrong. but it seems like i always have to learn things the hard way. opposites won’t work. we started going out in april and my parents wondered what the heck i was doing. don’t worry mom and dad, i really didn’t know what i was doing either. leo is awesome and fun; just not the guy for me. and that one ended at the end of the summer in september. 

this may sound horrible. but little did i know when i was going out with leo hoorn, my best friend, nicholas bandstra had a crush on me. i had no idea, i thought i was never the type to be clueless. yeah, so we hung out during lunch hours, talked all the time, and worked together. he didn’t understand why i was going out with leo either, why would i waste my time on a guy that wasn’t him. in the next couple of months, our friendship  had grown so much that i would steal mom’s phone and take it to bed with me so i could text nick. i didn’t think i even liked him. he was just that someone who was seriously always there to talk. i always just talked myself out of the fact that nick may actually like me. the topic arose one day at school that nicholas had a crush on me. i didn’t know what to do. after leo was over, i said i didn’t want to do any relationships until i was out of high school. but you know how it goes, love sweeps you of your feet when your least expecting it. the first time we went on a date was on october 13, me, nick, oh and devon. we went to the movies. now this is my love story with no lies in it, so nick actually never asked me out, and on that october 13, devon may have left for a few minutes, and nick simply kissed me. the day after at school, may have been a little awkward, as it kind of always is, but we firmly decided that we wanted “to go out.” so we started dating, the first couple months i was just obsessed with the fact that nick was actually my boyfriend. we would take our breaks together at safeway, hang out all the time, and we were pretty cuddly (not going to lie). sometimes i miss those first couple months but they are the foundation of what we have built on to and our relationship seriously gets so much better with time. nick and i have been dating for a year and four months now. and he has expanded my boundaries. he has made me happy when no one else can. he has taught me things i could only learn for him. and for the first time, i actually believe that i am in love. i know that i am in love. love takes time it does and sometimes it is hard work especially when you live 1400 km away from each other. we have fought, we have laughed, and we have cried together. all of it will only make us stronger, in the end. 

our love story hasn’t ended yet… it is to be continued…

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no destination

08Feb09

one of my favorite things to do is walk with absolutely no destination in mind. i find that when i do this i always end up somewhere new, somewhere more beautiful, and something unfamiliar–discovery. i also find that while i am walking with no destination i feel careless. i have no fears of where i may end up. i have no worries of getting lost. no schedules or times that i have to be home at.
as i was going for a short study break with my destination in mind, starbucks, i realized that i rarely walk anymore with no destination. when i lived at home, i needed to go for long walks to get myself away from the drama that high school brings, or just to think. nick and i would also take nice long walks with absolute no destination in mind. i found so much peace in walking. i could be so angry, leave the house and go for a walk and come back in the best mood ever.
so my advice for you, when you’re supposed to take a right, take a left and see where you end up.

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Tags: destination discovery

late night ramblings…

17Jan09

so i am having one of those moments. it is 11.40 pm, and i can’t sleep, thanks to my smart self of drinking coffee at 8.30. not a good idea. but tomorrow is saturday so maybe i can sleep in. in my moment, of having caffeine, i feel the sudden urge to write. by morning i probably won’t even remember. or this won’t make sense. but here i go.

i have been to my first two weeks of college, and i just have to say one (or a couple) of things. first, it is not the college that you see on movies. yes, there are parties. and yes, there are the people that you wonder, why are they even here. but no, their are no preppy girls that think that they are better than everyone else. secondly taking six courses is going to be insane. i already feel overloaded with homework and projects and some of my midterms in two weeks. we have barely even started. i am really enjoying my courses though: english, marketing, management, finance, accounting, and info tech. marketing and management have to be my favorites so far though. 50% of my mark is group work and i happened to get a really good group that is super focused. i am one lucky girl. to be going to college, and to be almost living my dream.

someone told me the today, that i was way too mature for my age, that i just needed to chill out and enjoy life in my younger years. i am not going to be one of those people that doesn’t show up for class and doesn’t do any of their homework. that is just not who i am. and i am enjoying life. but seriously, i do not feel too mature for my age, i just feel more mature then others my age. and trust me, i have my immature moments too. but  in all this, i still think that i am just a girl. when i am in a older crowd, i do feel like the youngest one there. and i think that when you get to something like college, age shouldn’t matter at all. in some of my classes there are people that have hit their mid-life crisis and decided to go back to school. age just doesn’t matter. we are all their to learn, grow, and achieve. well thats what i am there for. i don’t know about everyone else.

there are all my random thoughts. all on a page. maybe it will make sense. maybe i am just rambling.

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guess what. i have been tagged.

24Dec08

 there’s this game going around, if you haven’t heard. one friend goes threw their photos and finds the fifth one and then tags five more of their blogger friends. i was tagged by jes.

so here it goes, this happens to be my fifth photo in my computer.

isn’t he adorable. this is my boyfriend nicholas, when he was younger and i guess he just woke up and decided to dress like a girl one day. ahah. i am sure that, that was what happened. but its still cute.

sorry babe, but it is kind of cute, and no lies its number five. 

and as for tagging new people all my blogger friends have already been tagged, so i am sorry but it ends at me.

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“i’ll be home for christmas” …

19Dec08

as i am sitting in vancouver airport, i am beginning to think that just one week ago it did not even feel like winter, or that we could be anywhere close to christmas. but now, with both vancouver and victoria both getting snow and it being very cold here. it finally is starting to feel like christmas, or that we could be getting close to smithers. in one hour i will be on a flight home, from minus nine to minus twenty six. i feel like a wimp when i walk outside and i am cold in minus nine or just from the outside breeze just makes me chill and shiver. but home right now, sounds so good. mom’s smell of fresh baked gingerbread cookies, the warmth of our “heat pump” running home, and the presence of family and friends everywhere you go. smithers is my true home… its a place i can now go back to and just relax and i know that my parents will always embrace me with open arms. i am so excited to go back to smithers, even though when i left i wasn’t too happy with the small town. victoria is nice that way, if you don’t want anyone to know what you are doing with your life, then it doesn’t matter. but in smithers, its a different story. everyone will know the moment i arrive that i am in town. its just how it works.

this may sound terrible, but i limited the people i told. i will see people. i can meet up with them. i can randomly see them on main st. that way i can spend lots of time with the people i love, and all the rest are just minor details. i can see them but i do not want to spend my christmas trying to see everyone in smithers that i have ever meet. that would be too stressful… and i happen to really like my few friends that i have left there, and nickolas, and my parents. so why not maximize my time with people who really matter in my life. i think a few others can live without me.

i have one more hope/wish when i go home. that my mother will let me drive her 4runner. its not that she protects her “baby”. she lets nick drive it all the time, he has probably driven it more than i ever have. i have had my “n” license for a little over six months, and guess what. i have never driven with my “n”. so disappointing. i may be rated the worlds worse driver but what’s the deal. i got to learn sometime right. if i don’t drive then i won’t ever learn.

so i am home now. it is definitely christmas. minus twenty with the sun shinning. it is kind of a funny feeling being home again. i feel like i am right back where i left off. i have my same routine minus the waking up in the morning and the going to school parts. i spend my life helping my mother our around the house and then seeing nick once he is done school. i have driven mom’s baby a couple times. not once with out mom or dad with me though. maybe by the time i leave they will get it together and actually let me drive it.
anyways i am off to do my normal chores… the recycles!!!! yesssss’sss

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Tags: christmas, home

stamp of approval.

11Nov08

UPDATE!

so i officially got accepted to college. now all i have to is send a cheque to reserve my seat and i will be set. is it weird that i am excited to go back to school? i have only had six months off, and i don’t miss the idea of high school, or the actual “high school” itself. maybe its the aspect of me going to college, and that makes me all grown up. and i get to take courses i want… no more bc first nations, or socials eleven (i sat front and center and slept the whole course and still came out with a “b”). just courses like financial accounting, business, more business, and maybe one or two marketing courses. how exciting is that. stamp of approval.

now money matters right? well no, but budgeting has been going pretty good. christmas presents are hard when it comes to a budget, and our trip to vancouver this weekend is also going to put me out a little bit. but friends are more important than money right. and what if i never see her again, she does live half way across the world. i think i get the stamp of approval.

random thought for the day: what if we don’t get this stamp of approval from the people, or things that really matter to us? do we keep on living our lives? in everything i do, i have always longed for my parents stamp of approval. although when it came to a few past relationships, it was the wrong time, i was to young. i see that now. but i felt like i was hurting them and hurting myself because i didn’t receive their approval. thankfully, my “rebel” (i was far from a rebel, i just like to think i was) teenage years are long over and i actually listen to what my parents say. but on the other side, you can’t just stop living your life to get other people’s approval, yeah your parents matter, but you can’t spend your whole life trying to live up to something that your not to get something that’s not going to be worth it in the end right.

amanda and i are still trying very hard to find a place that is in our low budget, and that is on a major bus route, and has utilities included, and is relatively close to down town.. and la di da… maybe its our criteria. we just need a stamp of approval from someone on this one. something that can lift this burden off of our shoulders. i know exactly what it is. we need to find a place! plain and simple.

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